I don’t know when it was that I have become like this. Where it is so hard for me to reach out to people when I need someone. There’s probably only a couple of people who I can trust in my whole life, and even with them I second guess if I’d be wasting their time or not with complaining. I don’t know where all this pride comes from, where I feel like I have to put up such a strong exterior all the time, and just go along with everyone’s wishes. I don’t even know where to start on how to fix this. I used to think I was the most positive person, but now I don’t know even know where I got that from. When did I ever become so cynical and pessimistic? Makes me sad thinking about it. I shouldn’t feel this lonely when there’s a whole world full of people just out of my door.