Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Don't blame others, blame yourself for becoming what you've become.

Monday, March 29, 2010

We were all born beautiful.
It's sometimes the things we do that make us ugly.

How I've been feeling about myself lately is ugly. I can't seem to find the limit to all this negativity. What the hell is happening to me? ... Clearly I'm focusing too much on the bad things, and all the things that I can't have, as much as I desire them. What about the hopes for happier days? The positivity that has got me through so much in the past? I don't want to believe it's been crushed too much at this point that it's beyond repair. I don't want to believe that. If I had given up, I wouldn't even be caring at this point. But that fact is, I still do care, and it was that little voice inside of me that tells me to keep trying. Keep trying with your uni work, keep trying with Danny, keep trying with everything that you've gotta do. Just keep trying, don't give up.

I want to believe that I'm going somewhere, but with my actions lately, I don't feel like that at all. I'm going to change that. I've gotta change that.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Rant it out, let it go

Why am I making this hard on myself when I have so many reasons to be happy?

I can't explain the reasons why I've been feeling a lot of hate lately, a lot of jealousy, envy and moody ways. Where's the love? Why do I feel more lonely than I should? I branch out, but immediately snap back into place, not wanting anyone to know they've made me sad or that I need them to be normal around me. Awkwardness has taken place in too many of my everyday situations, and I hate it. I allow this to happen, but so did they. They're not trying, so why should I? I don't need people like that, but I can't hide the fact that they still have an effect on me. Damn them, damn me.

Keep moving forward.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Don't be scared to try again.

and most importantly, don't be scared to actually try.

All this talk about direction and achieving this and that after graduating uni is scaring the crap out of me, and I can't seem to pinpoint what scares me more. Maybe not having enough time? Not having the potential to achieve it all? Not having the stamina and confidence to withstand everything? Freaking heck. Stop scaring me. Because I'm feeling unstable and uncomfortable hearing about your futures, and I alone don't even know what I want to do.


Monday, March 8, 2010

This is not a waste of time.

hi, i'm julie. ♥

The beginning of one of my personal projects. ♥

Friday, March 5, 2010

One and the same

Back when I was young, really young, I'd wish that I was born with a twin sister, so that my lonely days wouldn't feel so lonely and long. Growing up in a house with three older sisters, it's easy to be left out and forgotten by them so that's why I felt that way. Even when my little brother came along into the picture, I was still the odd one out, the one that's always 'too oblivious' to care. That hurts when she says that. I'm sorry if I can be stuck in my own world for longer than others, but you're really one to talk. Everything that has got to do with you is always TOP PRIORITY, and anything else is just in the way. That pisses me off...Sigh, I hate arguing with my sisters. To deal with the aftermath of a shouting match is the worst. The tension, the awkwardness - and it doesn't feel like it will end either. Whatever. I'll move on, and get over it.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

'While computers might set type in flawlessly accurate columns, things that are made by hand are beautiful by virtue of their irregularity. I see these imperfections as marks of diginity and integrity, and believe that they bear witness to the artist - and the human - in all of us.'
- Debbie Millmane the typographer

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Far out, I've had enough

I'm growing to be too independent for my own good. I'm starting to hurt others and I haven't shown one bit that I care to anyone. I'm being too cold hearted right now, and it's hard for me to stop once I start frowning and closing up my heart like this.

What the freak is wrong with me?

Every ending is a new beginning

First day back at uni for the 3rd year, and I ended up borrowing 5 massive design books to inspire myself with. One of them is called: 'Over & Over' by Mike Perry - and I absolutely loved flipping through it slowly, where every page defied the traditional makings of patterns. Some of them I instantly fell in love with, such as Robin Cameron's work, Kirk Hiatt, Kimou Meyer, Andreas Samuels (oh that's love right there for me) and Maja Sten. That's just a handful of those that stood out for me, while others didn't really cut it with my odd taste (some just creeped me out, but were still interesting to explore).

Robin Cameron - http://www.rocamm.com/
Kimou Meyer - http://www.grotesk.to/
Stefan Marx - http://www.livincompany.de/
Andreas Samuels - http://www.andreassamuelsson.com/
Maja Sten - http://www.majasten.se/

I know for a fact that I absolutely LOVE patterns - especially ones that I could just visually with making an awesome quilt with. Imagine all the colours, and gorgeous details that they could be made up with. Over the summer I was taught on how to use the sewing machine - and don't ask me why I was suddenly inspired to do so because I just wanted to(?) Anyway. I do what I do everytime I suddenly have a new thing to do - I go to Spotlight and splurge on a whole load of things that will help me achieve it better. I bought mass loads of cute to quirkly looking patterned fabrics and I love them all. I've made several cushion covers for myself and loved ones, including tiny little (and definitely useless besides for decoration) cushions for my friends for Christmas 2009. It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to give them presents like that, even though half the time I don't know what they could do with my creative gifts. OH WELL :D

My tiny cushions for loved ones

Love, Julie XOX

P.S. I need to get my lifestyle back in order. Lack of sleep and mass eating of instant noodles is going to literally kill me one day.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I'm all kinds of off balance

The reason behind making a new design based blog is my little secret :)

Naw, I'm just kidding. But seriously. I'm a very self conscious girl, and I can be ohso easily influenced by the people around me, by what is the right thing to say and when to just keep it quiet, by what to think, and feel and express. I don't want to hold anything back with this blog. Hence, I'm not going to publicise this blog until I'm ready to show people who I really am and can be. I'm not always nice and understanding, things in life can irritate me as much as the next person. I start things, but complain about finishing them (but not everyone knows that). I generally wing it, rather than go right into attention to detail (though, I don't want to be that kind of person who leaves many things to the last minute). I can be hardworking, but people always overestimate just by how much of a hardworker I can be. And there are times where I rather not talk to anyone, and just be by myself to do nothing or whatever. I can't help it if I want to ignore you or not in the mood - that's just how I am. I wish I was the perfect daughter, but I'm glad I'm not because I wouldn't know the meaning of fun as I do now. My independence has grown over the past year, and it scares me that I find myself alone too many times these days (that can be changed). I'm a rambler (if you haven't noticed already) and it's not always easy for me to just get to the point (generally because I'm 'too' nice to deal with the truth). And there are always times when I don't know what to say, so I can be a conversation killer, even though I'm a pretty good conversation starter to new people. Anyway, whatever for now. Inside and out, I'm an odd little girl having a hard time adjusting to the changes she's experiencing and still trying to figure out what it is she wants to do with her life.

And as you can see from all that. I'm all mixed up. So for this design blog to be a little secret for now is kind of crucial for me to branch out to say and do whatever I like without even worrying about people that I know, and (perhaps) love judging me for being someone I'm not (or really in their case really - being someone they don't recognise). And that was one really long statement. :)

Thankyou, and goodnight.

Love, Julie XOX

hello world, this is me

and it's a pleasure to meet you. Love, Julie XOX

P.S. here goes nothing. :)