Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Stop hiding behind that broken smile, and give me a real smile. You've got plenty to be happy about, to be grateful for, to be thankful for. Plenty. So much that it's funny you can forget it all because of one stupid heart breaking moment.

Friday, April 9, 2010

There's too much hate and low self-esteem here.

I actually took a step back and revisited the previous entries for my blogspot and noticed that instead of being a design blog, this has become a place where I allow myself to vent, like a normal human being. There's too much of all that crap, and me complaining. I feel like a selfish person. I make as if everyday is a struggle, and that I don't ever ever experience happy days. I'm pretty much saying FML without having to actually saying (which btw, I HATE that acronym) Anyway, having being reminded that there are still very geniune good people in this world, and that I have the power to make my everydays beautiful - I'll be holding my chin up higher from now on, not to be a snob, but to actually breathe in the beauty that life can behold, like the beautiful clouds that I can't seem to stop photographing.

Where's the love?

It's right here, I've just gotta look closer.

For Simon Kouk

It makes me happy that I can still call Simon my friend. Even after all that we've been through last year, no matter how short it was, it was still pretty awesome. Thanks for not giving up on me and still valuing me as a good friend. I don't know if you will ever read this, I doubt it, but this is a from the heart gratitude buddy. Thankyou.
I f*cking make mistakes, just like everyone else. I don't need to hear it from you what I already know.

I think what I really need is a friend to know what I'm feeling just by looking at me, without having to ask me at all. To know that right now I'm going through hell and I hate being alone. That I have no motivation to be happy, to accept things and to fight for my pride. To know that I'm feeling low in self-esteem and that they're not the only one who has problems to battle with.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

This is effed up.

I'm in the process of losing someone who's been nothing but someone who loves me for who I am, and I've got to stop that. I've never shown so much rage to someone, and still have them tell me that they still love me at the end of it all. I don't want to lose him. It makes me want to cry just thinking about him walking away. And by then, I'd finally have the independence that I longed for, but honestly can not withstand without him.